i've just come back from a weeks trip to nimes and barcelona with 3 girl buddies and 2 male buddies. well infact it was 2 couples (both heterosexual) and a newly singled girl...and then there was me. the main reason that this entry is entitled regrets is solely because of wednesday night, on a pub crawl organised by my hostel where i was staying. i went with CB cause the others didn't want to come, but then neither did she. we went to 4 different pubs followed by a night club. during this i met 8 americans,2 french, 1 sewde, 1 danish, 1 finish, 2 brits and 2 aussies. by the 3rd pub, CB had left me alone with 3 of the american; chris, chris and erin. great guys and only older by a couple of years.

yes there were free shots at each pub, but otherwise i was stone cold sober. the only still problem is that one of the chris' and i got...ahem...a little too close for comfort aka dirty dancing and some OS. oh bugger!!!!! the main problem facing me is that i have a boyfriend of over 4 months, who i thought i really cared about, but now i'm not so sure wether its working or not. firstly there's so much i don't know about him and visa versa, secondly he scares me cause he is bulit like brick shit (hence you'd be stupid to start a fight with him, trust me i've seen the results) and thirdly his last girlfriend (of 22 months eeek!) cheated on him so he has trust issues and so if i tell him, i'm probably likely to destroy all future trust of the opposite sex and from that all fututre realtionships.

should i tell him as he's begining to suspect something's up. this is cause he called me last night, just when i had got back from being in london after the second attacks, and i said to him that i was scared that he will hit me and / or my friends. i have good reason i guess cause he has a caution for abh due to nearly killing the guy his ex cheated with.

we also have different social class backgrounds and whilst i'm going to uni, he's staying at home to work on the family farm. i've never met all of his friends, yet he has mine, and he goes through my text's seeing who i have called and texted. so if it's a bloke he goes mad and starts jumping to conclusions, plus he has someone who watches me around where i live all the time and what i do and who i met for a drink down the pub
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! :crazy:
then there's the "i love you's" after only 7 weeks of being together and the saying from his parents that he should marry me, for f**k's sake >:XX, i'm only 17!!! i have no idea what i should do now; tell him what happened and crush him or stay quite with my heavy conscience? i think i'll give the later a try, it might be easier....i hope :??: